You’ve mastered the pineapple. Now let’s talk about the real wild jungle: other people.
The unsolicited touchers. The “Is that all their real hair?” crowd. The “You should straighten it!” brigade.
Kids with curly hair don’t just get stared at — they get handled. Literally. And while you’re battling frizz, your child is quietly absorbing the message that their hair is different… maybe even “weird.” Time to flip the script.
🛑 Rule #1: Hair Is Not a Public Petting Zoo
Would they touch a stranger’s moustache? No. So why is your child’s head fair game?
It’s up to us to teach our kids that:
- Their body is theirs.
- They can say no.
- Curiosity doesn’t excuse disrespect.
✊🏽 “You can admire without touching. My hair isn’t a petting exhibit.”
Teach your child to respond confidently:
- “Please don’t touch my hair.”
- “I like it the way it is, thanks.”
- “No, I’m not wearing a wig.” (😑 Yes, that’s a real one.)
And let’s be real: if your kid is shy or nonverbal? You speak up. Loudly. Kindly. Firmly.
🧠 Why This Is More Than Just Hair
Hair is culture. Hair is identity. Hair is history.
When people make comments like:
- “It looks messy.”
- “Why don’t you just relax it?”
- “That’s a lot of hair for a little girl!”
Your child might not answer… but they hear. Every. Word.
And here’s what they need from you:
- Validation (“Your curls are perfect.”)
- Celebration (“Look at those coils! Power hair!”)
- Education (“Some people just don’t get it yet.”)
📚 Representation Matters — Big Time
Your kid needs to see their hair celebrated — not just tolerated.
Make sure they have:
- Books with curly/kinky-haired characters (hi, Hair Love, I Love My Hair, Crown)
- Dolls that look like them — not all slick-haired, side-parted clones
- TV shows and movies where curls aren’t just the “before” shot
📺 “If they don’t see themselves, they learn to shrink themselves.”
👨👩👧👦 Family Ain’t Always Helpful (But They Can Learn)
Yes, we’re going there.
Sometimes, the worst curl comments come from inside the house:
- “That child needs a comb run through her head!”
- “Are you sure you know how to do Black hair?”
- “You’re letting her walk out like that?”
Take a deep breath. Now clap back with kindness and clarity.
Try:
- “We’re raising her to love her natural self.”
- “Actually, this is a protective style — not unkempt.”
- “The goal is health, not flatness.”
And if they won’t listen? Create boundaries like you create partings — clean, clear, and firm.
🧒🏾 Affirmations for Your Curly Kid
Everyday mantras to armour them with self-love:
- “My curls are strong and beautiful.”
- “I’m proud of my hair.”
- “It doesn’t have to be straight to be good.”
- “My crown, my rules.”
Say them together. Say them in the mirror. Say them until they believe it on the inside.
TL;DR:
- Teach your kid they don’t owe anyone touch access or explanations.
- Call out curl microaggressions, even from Aunt Sheila.
- Stock your shelves with books, toys, and shows that celebrate curls.
- Speak love into your child’s crown daily. The world will try to shrink them. Don’t help it.
